It’s so easy to fall in love with the guy or girl with the perfect curve of a cheek, dazzling eyes, or a wacky sense of humor, but for a lot of us the most difficult person to love is ourselves.  We heap blistering judgements on our faults until we are cowering beneath our internal bully.  The people we see every day get better treatment from our subconscious!  Even pets are more indulged!

It’s hard to love yourself, for one, you just can’t romanticize that zit on your chin, how you get gas after you eat a burrito, or your failed attempts at telling jokes only to get to the end and hear crickets.  No one is perfect.  No one.  Accept who you are, because along with those ingrown toenails, you might be the person everyone tells their secrets to, or the one who draws in a way that inspires awe in others, or creates mouthwatering pastries.

To begin your journey inward, write down what you want, who you want to be, and how you see yourself in 10 years.  Then, dare to step across that line your bully has drawn in the sand and act on one, just one, of them.  You might fail, but you are one step closer to slaying the beast within than you were before you tried.

If this happens, try to see yourself as someone else, as a friend you care about.  What would you do if your friend failed?  Would you comfort them?  Encourage them?  Help find solutions?  You know you would.  Become your own advocate, an ally against the let downs and a cheerleader for your successes.  Need help doing this?  Read Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten.  Great advice and soul-searching questionnaires.

Literary fiction casts dragons, despots, and danger as catalysts for personal change knowing that’s when we find out who we truly are.  Yet, the idea of standing up to ourselves can prove more daunting.  Fact or fiction there’s a lot of helpful reading out there about learning to Love Yourself.  My favorites are The Awakening by Kate Chopin, The Color Purple by Alice Walker, and my all time favorite The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho.   I wrote my book Introverse as a YA fantasy based on the same theme.  It is a theme close to my heart.  I’ve been on the journey inside my Introverse and came out the other side to find the love of my life.

If you want to find that soul mate, that perfect match, the one who totally gets you and encourages you to act on your dreams, you need lift yourself out of the habit of self-sabotage.  In the end,

The only way to find your true love is to love yourself first.

Let me know about your journey. 

Support is the key to success. 

Leave a comment and I will answer you.